#but am i autistic or do i just want to be special and have attention

[sparkleobserver]

Hiiiii, I'm Wolf! :] I am 25, and my pronouns are he/him. I'm a trans guy and I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm not revealing much else about myself on purpose for my own privacy, but I may later on if I end up feeling more comfortable about it. This post might be subject to change! I will work on the desktop layout of this blog when I get time.

I am the second person who worked on the original iteration of Karmageddeon with Kneeby from around 2012 to 2017, Kneeby's ex boyfriend from that time. Anything bad you've heard about me is probably very exaggerated and honestly twisted to make me look like a bad person. I have grown and changed since then anyway, and any behavior in the past is not indicative of anything current about me. I may take time to answer asks or respond if something isn't urgent, as I am just a very anxious person. Please have some patience with me!

• This media will have a lot of horror themes (psychological horror, in particular). I'm not entirely sure about content like blood and gore yet or other more graphic themes, but I would like to aim for less focus on those things. I will figure it out!

Karmageddeon was Team Escapees in the past!! I thought I would be just dipping and disappearing again, but I want to take Team Escapees back, honestly. So I want to reboot it my own way. It's likely what I create is going to be closer to the original comic than Karmageddeon is, and you might even find things familiar!

So I suppose I am sticking around. I have some guidelines for interacting with me. The most important are next, and it's continued under the cut, with more info.

• If you come just to harass me or bother me about Kneeby, just be aware that I am not going to dignify your asks with an answer or response. Full stop.

• If you support Kneeby, do not interact with me. General DNI criteria apply here. If you are proship, this is not a space for you. I will block over these things.

• To elaborate, if you are proship, I do not want you to interact with this blog or the content here. You have many other spaces. I cannot control what you do in private, but if I see any indication on your blog that you are a proshipper, I will block you.

• I may not always be consistently active! I have my day-to-day life to go about, and I have other special interests and hyperfixations that may take up my attention. I am stating upfront that there may be stretches of inactivity from me.

• If you want to speak with me, message me here. If I join any Discord servers, it will be on an alternate account from my personal one, so I may not always be available immediately. I'm just a person that prefers to keep my personal life separate from the public internet due to past experiences.

• My typing may be inconsistent, I apologize! I am used to no punctuation or capitalization, but I'd like this blog to be accessible to people, so I'm not going to do that here.

I'm fully aware that I can't control what people do with characters or media I publicly post. I know that people will create whatever content they want. I am not here to police you or fight about it, because I have more to do than argue with people on the internet and I don't need that kind of stress.

It's just my personal wish that you don't engage with this media if you are proship, and that you don't create content that is incestuous, pedophilic, or anything of those sorts.

If you're going to do it anyway, I'm just asking that you don't expose people to it that don't want to see it. I don't want to see it either, so please keep it contained or whatever. Thanks!

If you've read this far, thank you! I very much appreciate it. A cookie for you. 🍪 :]

If you are looking for a link to my explanation of my experience with Kneeby, you can find it here:

https://www.tumblr.com/sparkleobserver/777696090172604416/hello-everyone-you-dont-have-to-talk-to-me-bc-i?source=share

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

[mommyownsmee]

8🙈

8: What are the rules you would give your little/sub/domme?

Rules - For my Submissive

You will address me as „Mommy/Daddy“ in private at all times and I‘ll always call you by a name of your choice [unless inappropriate]. You decided for „…“ in private and „…“ in public. We decided that you can call me „…“ in public.

You must always obey my orders [unless inappropriate]. If you can‘t you have to give me a reason for it, which I will respect at all times.

You must send me a selfie of you everyday [definitely], or a photo of what you wear [if you can].

You will take any punishment you may receive [without complaint]. Appropriate punishment will be given for breaking any of these rules- and you must give a proper apology: „I’m sorry for [what you did] Mommy/Daddy“. Rule breaking is only allowed under special circumstances [birthdays etc.]

We agreed on the Punishments together and added them to the app already.

You must always tell me when/where you consume any drugs/alcohol and who you are with- before doing so. I want you to be safe and have infos if there is an emergency.

You may not have another treat you as I do allow. I will not be happy and you will not be forgiven if I find out [and I will].

I may add/remove anything from these rules at any time [we can always talk about these rules].

Mommy/Daddy will always tell you if they‘re having a bad day [our dynamic will maybe have a certain timeout].

You will always say good morning and good night to mommy/daddy. You will always tell mommy/daddy when you have to leave and where you‘re going [except it‘s an emergency. In this case you can tell mommy/daddy later what happened].

You have to put on your online time and checkmarks for messages on your social media for mommy/daddy. I want to see if you‘ve read my messages and when you‘ve been online. Otherwise mommy/daddy will be very worried. This is a point that can‘t be discussed.

Bedtime is at midnight. Only exceptions are weekends [Friday and Saturday] or birthdays, etc.

You are mine. You belong to me alone.

I want you to tell me your location when you‘re not at home or at work.

You have to stay within 2 meters when we are walking in public, no walking away from mommy/daddy.

You have to inform mommy/daddy about your plans for the day [in the morning].

You have to ask mommy/daddy whenever you want to buy expensive (things that are not groceries/ drugstore articles/... Like electronic devices, clothes etc.)

No eye rolling, no sticking tongue out, both gets you -500 points OR one overstimulation punishment.

Rules - For my Domme

| I AM AUTISTIC |

Communicate clearly & directly – I sometimes struggle with subtle cues or unspoken expectations. Please be clear in your instructions, tone, and intentions so I can fully understand what you need from me.

Correct me, but with understanding – If I make a mistake or displease you, I accept discipline, but I also need to understand what I did wrong and how I can improve.

Acknowledge my efforts – I thrive on pleasing you, and knowing that I’m doing well fuels my devotion. A simple acknowledgment, whether praise or correction, means everything to me.

Give me the freedom to express myself – I need a space where I can express my thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of punishment or dismissal.

Establish routine & predictability when possible – I function best when I have structure. Please help me by keeping routines, rules, and expectations as consistent as possible, and letting me know in advance if things will change.

Encourage my growth – Submission is a journey, and I want to grow both as your submissive and as a person. Help guide me to be better, not just for you, but for myself as well.

Allow me to seek comfort in you – When I am vulnerable, uncertain, or struggling, let me turn to you without fear. Your dominance is my anchor, and your presence is my refuge.

Recognize when I need you the most – There will be times when I struggle to express my needs. Please be attentive to my unspoken signals and guide me when I cannot guide myself.

Give me time to process changes – Sudden changes in routine or expectations can overwhelm me. If something needs to shift, please let me know in advance when possible, so I have time to adjust.

Respect my sensory needs – Certain textures, sounds, or touches may overstimulate or distress me. Please be mindful of my sensory sensitivities, especially during play, discipline, or intimacy.

Allow me to use stimming or self-regulation methods – If I need to stim (rocking, tapping, fidgeting, etc.) or take a break to regulate myself, please allow me to do so without judgment. It helps me stay calm and present.

Be patient with my emotional processing – Sometimes I may struggle to express what I feel or need right away. Please give me the time and space to process my emotions and communicate them in my own way.

Understand my social exhaustion – Engaging with people can drain me faster than it does others. If I need quiet time or struggle with social interactions, please allow me the space to recover without guilt.

Rules - For my Little

Littlespace rules for public

Always hold hands with mommy (you can also hold onto mommy‘s arm if you need/want to)

Mommy will always open and close all doors for you

Mommy will talk for you in every situation

Please whisper into mommy’s ear if you want something or have the need to say something

Basic rules

You must always respect Mommy

You must always be be truthful and honest to Mommy

If you are sad Mommy prefers to know immediately.

You are allowed to eat snacks if you will eat a lot of healthy stuff (We will discuss this further).

You don’t have to do anything that you don‘t feel comfortable with.

You are always allowed to speak your mind without punishment given, but Mommy doesn‘t want you to use bad words.

„No“ is „No“. There is no „maybe“.

Evening rules

Your bedtime is 12-1 am (We can talk about a specific time).

You should always take care of your body (shower daily, brush teeth and take makup off etc).

You get Mommy-time daily before bed (read a book, talk or play something) in which Mommy will be there for you only. No distractions.

Morning rules

Your wake up time is 7am (We can talk about a specific time).

You have to brush your teeth in the morning.

You have to eat a healthy breakfast.

[monsterlets]

conversation tip for autistic people, from an autistic linguist

if you've ever run into this dilemma:

you are telling someone a story or informing them about something. there is a piece of information that you are not sure if they already know or not, but they need to know it in order for the rest of what you're saying to make sense. you are now trying to guess based on nothing. if you tell them and they already knew, they might think you're insulting their intelligence (or just that it was weird that you thought they wouldn't know). if you don't tell them and they didn't already know, then they'll feel lost

you can get around this with presuppositions

a presupposition is a piece of information in a sentence that is not the main point of the sentence, but that must be true in order for the sentence as a whole to be true. this is very dependent on where in the sentence the information is

for example:

you're telling someone a story about a mutual friend. the only way this story makes sense is if the listener knows that the friend's dad used to be a doctor. you don't know if they know that

this is a direct statement: "her dad used to be a doctor"

the main point of this sentence is "her dad used to be a doctor", but more importantly it's obviously the main point of the sentence. if they think you should assume they already knew that, that is now at the front of their mind. and they might think you're implying that they're not close to your mutual friend

here is a sentence with a presupposition: "when her dad was a doctor, he saw this really weird thing"

the main point of this sentence is "he saw this really weird thing". "her dad was a doctor" is just background information. not only that, but including information as a presupposition implies that you thought they already knew it

if they did in fact already know, they might not even register the fact that you mentioned it again, or if they do it wouldn't seem out of place. they just breeze right past it and on to the rest of the sentence

if they didn't know, they likely won't think that much about it since you didn't call much attention to it, and even if they take note of it they'll at least think you assumed the best of them. at this point one of three things is likely to happen (from most to least likely):

they just quickly assimilate the information into their worldview and move on to interpreting the rest of the sentence

it blows their mind so much that they ask you to explain. which is a great outcome imo

it threatens their worldview so strongly that they cannot move past it. at this point they may get mad at you, but it's not because of what you implied they knew or didn't know - it's because they just strongly disagree with you, and they were gonna get mad regardless of how you said it. this will rarely come up unless you're talking about a particularly polarizing/emotionally charged topic

note: as I said, where you put the information in the sentence matters a lot. coordinating conjunctions connect two main ideas. the sentence "her dad used to be a doctor, and he saw this really weird thing" has two main ideas. and one of them is the one that you wanted to not be a main idea

if you want more examples of the forms presuppositions can take with more technical descriptions, wikipedia has a pretty good list

also note, this is a guideline, not a rule. it's hard to go wrong with it, but if you know what you're doing you can break it

for instance, if I am not talking about anything personal, just telling someone about a special interest, I'll do different things depending on how niche the information is

if I know something is common knowledge (ex: t rex was a predator) then I'll either not mention it, or if I think it's something they need to not only know but be actively thinking about for the rest of it to make sense, then I will remind them with a presupposition

if I know something is not entirely common knowledge, but I have at some point seen people who are not deep into the topic talking about it ("dimetrodon was more closely related to mammals than dinosaurs") then I might just straight up ask them if they know that, since it doesn't say anything about them as a person other than what random information they happened to come across

if it's something you almost certainly wouldn't know about without being deep into the topic, I just say it. if they do happen to know about it it's because they randomly heard it and they probably wouldn't think it's weird that I assumed they didn't know (note: in this situation do not say anything along the lines of "you probably wouldn't know this" "this is so niche". just say the information)

you might have noticed that I haven't been following the guideline in this post either. this is for a couple reasons

I'm not talking to specific people, I'm writing for a broad audience. generally when you say things people already knew in that context they're like "well I didn't need that spelled out for me, but I guess somebody does"

I am not aiming this at neurotypicals, and I assume that you'll appreciate me being as explicit as I can regardless of how much you already knew

[ya-bug-boy]

Hi!! (This is my first time requesting on tumblr so I apologize if it’s bad and if your requests aren’t open)

But are you willing to do a guzma x trans autistic reader who has a sensory problem or is sensitive to loud noises?

Guzma x Trans/Autistic Reader with sensory/loud sensitivity issues

One of the things that come with being a punk is being respectful as fuck towards gender and sexual identities. A couple of Team Skull grunts got kicked out of home because of said identities so Guzma already has some experience in ensuring you manage to get the healthcare and resources you need. (Thank Arceus for universal healthcare am I right?)

Regardless of gender, Guzma helps you figure out what you like wearing. He'll bend the rules that you don't have to wear the same grunt uniform like the rest cause you're special. Unless you wanna look like your fellow trans brothers and sisters, figuring out which hair dye makes you feel the best and looking like one of them makes you feel good then he'll let you do it. Either way, he lets you dress up however you want.

Loves calling you pet names still, usually sticking with calling you Cutiefly because you hover around him like one. That and cause, you're sweet to him more than he thinks he deserves.

But something that he definitely isn't all that used to doing is ensuring your comfort given your limits as an autistic person when it comes to sensory and loud sensitivity issues. Team Skull has some experience with handling some members with their mental illness but it's not like you can really "fix" something like autism. Thoughts like that is just straight ableism. But what they do know is that you can help lessen some sources of stress that cause you direct harm.

Team Skull is pretty much used to doing things big and loud so that does take some time getting used to but they do get you noise cancelling headphones so you don't flinch at how often they end up yelling at each other. Something that Guzma makes them all do is to give you a brief warning to put the headphones on, someone announces that you're here and to keep the noise down, and then they start doing what they were doing before, just at a lower volume. If it's the bosses' order, they're not one to judge or object. Punks are respectful like that even if they don't understand it all that well.

Physical touch wise, that definitely takes some time to figure out but Guzma and the rest are pretty quick to just replace whatever you're touching with something better. Don't like these socks? Get you new ones. Don't like this blanket? Okay, yeah, we needed new ones anyway. Things such as that.

Guzma is used to yelling and yapping a whole bunch still. Gotta be when you're trying to get the attention of a dozen or more grunts at a time. He doesn't mind all that much if you wear the headphones around him but his volume does get softer when he's directly talking with you. His honey sweet words when he murmurs into your ear of sweet nothings is one of his favorites because he gets to watch you squirm.

[gayleviticus]

im certainly not a wonderful saintly christian by any means but idk at the end of the day i read the bible and pray and go to church and talk to people about God because i think knowing God is a worthwhile, meaningful, and rewarding thing.

but some people seem to just not view it that way and i find it very hard to wrap my head around all the underlying assumptions that lead them to beat themselves up for not reading the bible enough or, going cold turkey on movies because they're more entertaining than praying etc. but i guess i think that like, wanting to know God shouldn't be a struggle or constantly beating yourself up or guilting yourself into doing more Religious Things.

ok sure, a certain amount of discipline is kinda necessary for anything you want to do that's worthwhile. a writer needs to push themself to write sometimes. an artist needs to push themself to paint sometimes. even relationships-wise sometimes a parent needs to push themself to wake up early and drive their kid to saturday sport or whatever.

but i feel like your ultimate goal should still be something you genuinely want in a positive, joyful way. if you sometimes need to nudge yourself to read the bible everyday, but it's because you do overall want to deepen your faith, that totally makes sense; it's no different from making yourself run on a day you kinda don't want to because your ultimate goal is a marathon.

but when people view the whole thing as this weird internal struggle where God stuff is threatened by the allures of the world and whatnot it just... seems like an attitude towards faith that has problems at it root.

admittedly i kinda have it easy atm bc i have an autistic special interest in the bible and theology but. idk. it doesnt have to be 'ohno all these other things are dragging my attention away from the bible and prayer and etc' it can be 'ok, what are some ways i can learn more about the bible in an interesting way? what are some different types of prayer i could try?' or even 'am i actually driven by wanting to love God, or do I just feel pressured to be doing this?'

[bouncy-dog-funeral]

Stiles Stilinski and how teen wolf fails his character and relationships

TW: mentions of charecters traumas, disibilitys not being taken seriously, toxic relationships, one sided attraction, and teen wolf hate cuz as much as I love some of the charecters… the show is kinda bad (it’s my special interest b4 I get hate)

ALSO!!!

I am just an autistic guy who’s been hyper fixated on stiles as a character for years. I am not telling you how to feel about the show or him, I’m just expressing how I feel through a long (and I mean it this is long so strap in… or don’t… I don’t control you) tumbler rant. I have not finished the show but I have done a lot of research (about episodes and seasons that I have not seen) but I’m just human. If I miss something or don’t get something right, you can just tell me!!

Stiles stilinski as a character, while not a revolution to tv, was a pretty iconic character. A show about werewolves and the supernatural was absolutely side stepped by the human of the series. From the moment he’s on screen, he brings a fun vibe and some pretty funny jokes but you’re not here to listen to me glaze a white guy from an early 2000s show. Too much of that on here any way so let’s get to the real meat and potato’s!

Stiles was failed by teen wolf. They failed to give him relationships (and I mean platonic and romantic relationships) that were reciprocated. His relationship with Scott is ok at best. In the first season stiles goes out of his way for Scott to help him find out what’s wrong with him and it’s seemingly the only reason he’s there other then to get Scott to go in the woods and to show that Scott isn’t friendless and what does Scott do? Kinda just ignore him to hang out with a girl HE JUST MET. This isn’t a one time thing either. Stiles goes out of his way for Scott 99% of the time. He’s loyal and honestly a really good friend. Scott does not meet him there unfortunately. This is not to say that Scott never helps stiles out or never shows care for him, he just kinda always puts his issues first. I think a famous example is season 5 episode 9. NOW BEFORE YOU SCOTT SYMPATHIZERS BOO ME I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAIN MY POINT. Now Scott and Stiles have both gone through some traumatizing shit that no one, especially high schoolers but I can only give so much leniency. Scott is supposed to be a leader/alpha and although he’s bound to make mistakes, a good leader listens. He never really listens to stiles in this argument. He got told one story from Theo and just runs with it. He has this problem either way black and white thinking when everyone in this series is a person (werewolf’s and other supernatural creatures included) and being a person comes with not being perfectly good. Scott has this awful superiority complex when it comes to doing what he thinks is morally right. Scott through out the series proves that he is not as loyal to stiles is to him.

I’d also like to go over his relationship with Lydia cuz good god man. I don’t hate Lydia. I think she’s a great character that if not written in the early 2000s could really have potential but they make her mean to stiles (as most charecters are) and show no interest in stiles even as a nuisance and expect me to care about them as a couple. Now you could say the same thing about sterek (stiles x Derek) and you might even be typing up a comment now. Let me stop you. I think there is a key diffrance. We are supposed to root for stiles and Lydia. We are supposed to want them together when Lydia in all honesty is not intrested in him. It’s not a mutual arguing or back and forth. Stiles is deeply in love with some one who ignored his existence. As a afab person I feel bad for Lydia a little. Having the attention of a man that you don’t like all that much while you have a partner (Jackson in season 1 which he’s not a good partner but she’s still with someone) should get on my nerves and also kinda make me nervous. This is not me saying stiles is a creep or anything it’s just me highlighting the relationship that they share is kinda one sided. Now this is just personal preference and you might really like that dynamic but I don’t really want to root for a couple where it’s just pretty girl is there and she has some nerd who wants to be with her and she eventually gets with him cuz yay straight people. I know they grow and eventually Lydia is in love with him but I just can’t get behind it. It’s just nothing. The fact the he (stiles) yells at her at the school dance (season 1 episode 11) to get her to dance with him after she rejected the offer twice is weird!!! The whole speech is nice guy behavior on stiles part and it makes him seem down right disrespectful. I don’t care for the whole “no means I’m playing hard to get” idea. It makes stiles look like a dick, puts Lydia in the position where if she doesn’t say yes the audience will hate her, and it doesn’t progress the relationship in a healthy way. I think they would be really cute friends and you can even keep the “stiles has a crush on her” narrative and just make it to where he comes to an understanding that she has said no and they become friends. God knows we are lacking good platonic male/female relationships in media.

Now onto stiles and his disability. When I was in first obsessing over stiles in middle school or high school I was ecstatic to learn that stiles had adhd. I have been diagnosed with adhd since I was in elementary school. I was always an outcast cuz of it so to see a character, a fan fav at that, I was so happy. Getting any disability rep (especially from the mid 2000s) is crazy rare so I was happy to see it. Unfortunately in an interview Dylan o’brian (stiles actor) said that it was a joke. That even tho that in the series stiles says that he takes Adderall (a drug that treats adhd) he’s just like that. This was incredibly heart breaking to hear. Jeff Davis (creator of teen wolf) said that stiles had adhd later on Twitter but this isn’t a real relief to hear cuz either they wrote a “joke” that stiles might have adhd therefore dangling rep infront of disabled people’s faces while also having plausible deniability about having any rep in the show at all OR they wrote it in and just kinda ditched it at one point. They use derogatory terms for adhd to describe stiles like spaz just for him to be a nerotypical charecter??? Yeahhhhhh not a huge fan. If they actually wrote him to have adhd (which btw in my experience is like one of the most “accepted” disibiltys to portray in media so it wouldn’t even be taking a huge risk to give stiles adhd) then that would explain his behaviors, why he takes Adderall, why people other him when he seemingly does everything right. It was only ever a joke to the writers and I think unfortunately the actors. It made it to where other fans of the show can shut down the idea that stiles has adhd cuz “they don’t ever directly say it. It’s frustrating and overall makes me so sad.

Next his trauma. They put this man through a lot and just gloss over it. They do this with most of the charecters. Huge traumatic incadent then boom Scott saves the day we’re all fine!!! (Can you tell who my least fav charecter is through this rant?) it’s just annoying. Stiles was litterly possessed leaving him a broken man but it’s kinda just… there? No real ptsd. Hell he doesn’t even really have to deal with anything. They briefly go over that his mom died and kinda just became a shell of a person and that made his dad an alcoholic. It just happens. None of that affects stiles outside of that story line. Was it too much to write ptsd? Idk it just seems that anytime they have to write a charecter that isn’t a ambiguously white or white nerotypical untraumatized “normal” person, they fall flat *cough* BOYD *cough cough* DANNY *cough* what was that? Who said that? Any way it’s just weird and upsetting.

All of this to say…. I think teen wolf had so much potential and so many good ideas that just… didn’t make it. They failed stiles stilinski, not only that! They failed all of their character’s but I’m not crazy Coocoo about their character’s and it 1:38 in the morning so I’ll leave it with stiles. If you disagree with me that’s so fine, I’d love to have a conversation about your opinions! Just from my knowledge and experience, I feel like they could have done so much better for stiles

(Like make him a bisexual neurodivergent icon but whatever)

Have a lovely day! Thank you for listening. If you ever want to talk about teen wolf, my dms are always open and I’m crazy.

[justanescapism]

hi! Can I request something with Dexter having an autistic gf? if you are unsure of your depiction don’t worry! remember that autism is an spectrum

feel free to not write it if you are not comfortable! thank youuu

Dexter Morgan having an autistic partner would include…

Dexter had always considered himself…odd. He tries everything he does to cover it up - but with you, he doesn’t have to pretend to be mr nice guy. He can unmask - to a certain extent - in front of you.

You both have special interests. Dexter appreciates being able to talk about blood splatter and not get called a psycho, weirdo or geek. He can be passionate and not judged. It’s something he’s never experienced before - and he loves it, in his own way.

If you’re not typically into PDA, Dexter is fine with that, if not glad. He was never a big fan of PDA. Preferring not to draw attention to himself.

That been said, if anyone calls you weird or say anything remotely bad towards, Dexter is quite defensive. You don’t need to change for him, so why should you change for others.

He doesn’t really understand why you a person who does nothing wrong would need a mask. He does it to not get caught, but fitting in? If he doesn’t have to, he won’t. He tried to understand though, and lets you unwind and unmask in front of him.

He works extremely logically to the point it’s kind of absurd. If you can’t touch a certain texture, he never judges. You can’t touch it, that’s that, he requires no explanation, which you appreciate. If you don’t want to talk, he doesn’t require answers. If you want to tell him, he’s all ears but will never push it.

That goes for any boundaries at all! You have to do something a specific time to make sure you keep your schedule. He makes sure he’s always busy/free in that time.

Likewise, when he needs a night to hunt or go on his boat as he tells you, you don’t ask why, just let him go. We all have pur routines or things we need to do, to keep ourselves sane.

A/n: I am actually autistic and was thinking about doing this anyways. Again, I tried to keep this vague and everyone is different. As you said it’s a spectrum! :)))

Also if you want more Dexter I’m happy to oblige, I can hardly find anything for this show! :(

[venuscrashed]

I lived the Miles x autistic reader fic. So I wanted to ask I you could write 42! Miles x Autistic male reader, who talks a lot, like always tell him about his special interest and one day, Miles had a rough time and he snaps at the reader for talking so much, and the reader just goes non-verbal.

Please and thank you

The angst. 😭

Also sorry that this is bad. I have not motivation.

Annoyance. That’s all Miles felt in that very moment. If he knew what would happen he would have never done it. He knew how you were but you just caught him at a bad time.

His uncle criticized him for making a mistake on a mission. It was stupid, he knew, but it still bothered him. He came home and you were laying there on his bed. The smile you gave him almost made everything better but you went straight to talking.

You went on about this one movie that’s coming out based off of your favorite book series. You talked about the cast and how you wished the cgi wasn’t going to be bad. Then you went into the lore of the book, what happened and how it did.

You noticed that Miles wasn’t really paying attention as he was walking around the room. His mood was different. You asked about it and he just snapped. “Why do you talk so much,” he yelled at you. “Can you shut up for one minute?”

He noticed how you stiffened. He was about to apologize, really he was but you ran out to much. He knew how much this movie means to you and he knew that you weren’t the problem. He felt so bad.

“Miles what happened?” His mother asked, “I heard what happened. Why did you yell at him?”

He sat down in his bed, his face in his hands. “I messed up. Real bad.”

His mother went and sat next to him, giving a comforting hand. “At least you realize that. Now go apologize to him. If you run you might make it to him.”

Miles looked up at his mom, “Thanks.”

Miles ran out of that apartment with all the speed he had left. He was jumping down the stairs, practically flying. He stopped once he saw you. “(Name)!” He grabbed ahold of your arm and turned you around.

“I’m sorry. I really am, I know how much that movie meant to you. And I want you to know that I’m not mad at you. You just got me at a bad time.”

He saw you staring at him, you were crying. He was hugging you and you felt how sorry he was. “How about we go see that movie the day it comes out?” He cleaned you face.

Something was different, you weren’t answering him. You avoided his eye contact and just left him. God he was an idiot.

He would have never had yelled if he knew you were going to go silent. Your parents explained to him how he was the problem, and he knew that. He was sorry.

[ominous-faechild]

✦ Writer Questionnaire 2 ✦

Thanks for the tag, @the-golden-comet! (And @the-letterbox-archives tagging me when I was almost done here, haha)

Heads-up! Long post!

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

Two months ago to the date actually??? Or, at least, that's when I first uploaded a story here. My first actual Writeblr post was me hopping in on an open tag on the 6th of June, haha. I thought it was just a month, but looks like the summer's gone by in a flash! 😭

What led you to create it?

So, I'm a writer on Tapas! I'd been attempting to social network on other social medias (twitter and bluesky) but wasn't getting anywhere, didn't like the general formats, and uh... I'm sure I don't have to explain why I don't want to touch Twitter with a 10-foot-pole anymore. Let's just say, if you haven't seen, it's just as bad as (if not worse than) everyone says. Anyhow, I'd seen lots of Tumblr short stories on other platforms and started investigating what it's like here. Didn't know what "Writeblr" was or that it even existed, but eventually stumbled into the field after posting my short story. Thanks, @darkandstormydolls! ❤️

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

How supportive everyone is??? Like omg you guys are so sweet, idk how to take it. Also I love seeing how much passion everyone else has for their writing, haha.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Uhhhh, I think I'm pretty open about the things I'd like people to know about me, haha. I never mean to offend, so if I accidentally say something wrong, please tell me! I'm autistic and very dumb.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I'm ngl I keep meaning to build out my followed tags for my fandoms, haha. The only fandoms I really see things for are TMAGP (10/10, TMA is my obsession. I am obsessed. It is one of my Special Interests and I love it with all my heart) and House of the Dragon??? Except I'm not even a fan of HotD??? So that's kinda annoying, haha. (Aka, my fandom stuff, but that's on me.)

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Rising From the Ashes, tragically. (Because it's one of the LAST things I should be working on right now, haha.) Otherwise, I'm of course always obsessed with the Arcane Rifts. Then I force myself to be obsessed with Sun and Shadow, though it's slowly growing on me, haha.

How long have you been working on them?

Haha, so I've historically jumped around a lot in working on different things, so these are approximate guesstimations!

Rising From the Ashes has likely had 3 or 4 years put into it/the characters. If you include the Calamity Crew (which overlaps with it in the timeline and originally ended up merging with the cast of RFtA), I'd say definitely 4 years!

The Arcane Rifts has had 5 years put into it.

Sun and Shadow is very new; I'd say it probably only has about 4 months of work in it? It's part of why I'm less interested in it, haha. Less I've put into it and less I'm attached to.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Oh... oh dear. How could you ask me this??? 😭😭😭

Rising From the Ashes has existed since, I think, 2016. It started (tragically) as an RP starter on Google+. I wish I was kidding.

To those unaware of how it worked in that space (and likely similar ones to this day), you'd post a starter and people would join in with their own characters. 99% of the time, they'd drop out before long. However, I'd work out details of the characters in the process and carry that info over into the worldbuilding. I eventually stopped RPing with the masses and settled down with a single "partner" who I'll call Kris.

She's the one who stole my docs.

The Arcane Rifts technically originated as another RP starter? It never got attention, though, and instead my ideas for it simply carried over into the worldbuilding in general.

One of the characters of the original starter was important in the worldbuilding. It was not a character you see in the early books of tAR, though, so don't bother trying to figure it out. But, since he was so important, his origins were also important.

The Arcane Rifts started in 2019, as I wanted to make a story building out said character's origins. It was originally going to be a duology, the first book being Gene's backstory and the second being how Gene and The Other Guy's lives intertwined. (No, they were not gay for each other! 😂) It's since changed a lot, and focuses basically exclusively on Gene, haha. The last book in the series will probably be focused on the other character, though!

Sun and Shadow started for a romance novel competition on Tapas which has since ended. I didn't get to finish it in time for a lot of reasons, but I primarily cite stress and exhaustion from working full time at a physically-intensive job. It grew shockingly quickly and I had some fans donate to me related to it, so I'm kinda forced to work on it, haha. Dw--I like it! It's just harder to work on for a number of reasons, haha.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Tragic, the questions you're asking me--

It depends, haha. I'm autistic and hyperfixate a lot. Also, for one, that's a suuuuuper vague question??? Like what do you mean "how much time"--how much time within the day? How often in general? Idk, man, haha.

I think about the Arcane Rifts a LOT!

I've put an incredible amount of time and effort into it, and I'm in love with 90% of the characters there. Even the background characters have had a lot of work put into them, getting relatively fleshed-out backstories to make their motives understandable (even if not agreeable!), and I love them all so much, haha.

Except Katerina. She's a bitch.

I also think about Rising From the Ashes a good amount, and it's invaded my brain again lately, haha.

I took a step away from RFtA and basically all of my other stories late 2021 when Kris (my ex-writing partner) and I had a falling out. It was incredibly difficult for me emotionally to look at anything I worked with her on, and obviously RFtA was a huge one (actually, tAR was the only thing of my early works she had nothing to do with). Since early this year, I've finally been able to work on it again and it's been incredibly fun removing her stuff, actually!

I think all that is a good part of why I keep randomly getting obsessed with it again, haha. It's like looking at old friends (the characters, not Kris) and being all "omg??? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER??? PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN UP TO!!!" except it's removing Kris's stuff, haha.

I think about Sun and Shadow a lot more than you might expect with how much I talk about not preferring it, haha. I love the characters! Crow and, actually, Valyarus especially. They're both super interesting characters, and I'll randomly find my brain working out scenes between characters interacting with them.

(The problem with SaS is that, as a book, it's incredibly different from my usual works. It's a small cast of Frey/Crow and technically Daleira, while most of my stories focus on larger casts. It makes for a VERY different experience, and so it's a lot harder to work on)

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Actually, I've got a ready answer for this one! Until SaS, I was dedicating my time to the Arcane Rifts and had prepared the answer:

Percy Jackson meets Lord of the Rings in a steampunk fantasy world full of ✨mysteries waiting to be uncovered✨

(I'd say the "mysteries waiting to be uncovered" part ironically/accidentally mockingly most of the time, whoops, haha. I always feel awkward advertising my works.)

It was awkward when people would get actually interested in it from there and ask more questions, haha.

To clarify: that's my tagline for the Arcane Rifts! The story has gods and demigods messing with mortals, using them as their playthings and being REALLY immature babies because they don't really face consequences for their actions like PJ. Then, it's a lot more "grounded yet fantastical" like LotR, where magic is kinda infused with reality and yet you still have issues like starving to death and whatnot.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

UHHHH THERE'S A LOT TO LIST???

Try this for a taste! These are just the guys I've gotten colors for!

Freya, Crow, Daleira, Valyarus, Grimnir, Soren, Gene, Tazin, Mislav, Adilzhan, Ludmila, Rada, Caspar, Nikolai, Gennadi, Oska, Rieka, Liesel, Carmin, Nora, Sammy, Kieva, Caron, Varik, Elazi, Riaan, Roman, and Tiberius! (Though Tib is getting a name change sooner or later)

Who’s the most unhinged?

Unhinged in which way? There's a lot of options there, haha.

I'm going to give honorary mentions to Valyarus, Gene in the later books, Tazin, Rieka, Gennadi, and Tiberius ! (Why does it not surprise me that most unhinged characters are from tAR? 🤣 Also I swear it's a coincidence most of the unhinged characters are red.)

(... Probably.)

In general, I'd say that, incredibly ironically, the Existence of Order is the most unhinged of all my characters. She's just incredible at hiding it.

(Tbf half of the Existentials probably belong on the "unhinged" list anyway but eh. They still don't compare to Order!)

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

I'm going to give this as a tie between Gene and Sammy!

Gene has my 'tisms and just about all of my trauma, so we have a lot in common, whoops, haha. Also there's a... very specific detail about his character that makes him easier to write in general. It's just a major spoiler. 👀

Similarly and actually identically to Gene in some ways, while Sammy has a lot in common with me, he's also incredibly perceptive! (Although we don't share that fact.)

Due to the way I write, their analytical natures allow for them to spit straight facts about the worldbuilding and the people around them rather than beating around the bush, haha. Both are highly investigative, try to learn and understand everything around them, and notice small details other characters wouldn't! It makes it much easier for me to write, because uh... well here's an example of what my outlines look like.

Long story short: I include a lot of detail which I then transfer into the POV's character narration, cutting out details which they wouldn't notice or think about, haha. In Sammy's case (which that scene has Sammy as the narrator/POV character), very little information gets cut out because he's so perceptive!

(Here, as a treat--have another example!)

(In this scene, Nikolai is the narrator. Even the outline gets "filtered" to mirror the characters' way of thinking--like it's Nikolai himself seeing Caspar as "doll-like". The crossed-out stuff is details I most likely won't mention, but noted for myself, haha. I do the same thing if/when including details about the motives and thoughts of non-narrator characters.)

Do you ever cringe at them?

Gene and Sammy?

A B S O L U T E L Y .

Gene is a wreck in basically every way and desperately needs help (that he won't get until he meets Dimitry). As much as I love him, there's a lot of moments where you just can't help but wince and be all "shit, did you REALLY have to do/say that?"

Sammy on the other hand? He's a terrified, control freak manipulator who panics the moment he feels like he's losing control of a situation. It can be painful to watch, even if simultaneously fascinating.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

I explicitly go out of my way to add backstory to and develop each and every one of my characters until they "write themselves", haha.

I want my characters to feel like real people, so I do my absolute best to make them as real as possible. (That's part of why tAR is so massive...)

Special shoutout to Dimitry here, btw. Dude COMPLETELY screwed over the planned and intended from the earliest days path of the Arcane Rifts. I've mentioned before that Gene is villain-coded, yeah? Want to know why?

Because he was MEANT to be one! Then Dimitry had to come along, be the sweetest, nicest fucking person around to Gene while he was going through the worst part of his life, and keep Gene from slipping off the deep end!

MITRY, YOU PIECE OF--

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

I absolutely love, love, love!!! people asking questions about my characters!!! 🥰

I would absolutely prefer them as Asks sent to me, and especially would prefer if separate subjects/questions were sent in separate Asks! Like, say you were going to ask me about Gene and Dimitry. I'd rather two separate Asks, one asking for whatever you wanted to know about Gene and another for whatever you wanted to know about Dimitry, haha. However, if you wanted to ask a single question about both, that obviously is fine as a single Ask!

On writeblr engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

I definitely scope out before I follow, yes.

I choose based primarily on the personality of the person behind the blog, but the WIPs/vibes can also have an influence on my decision, haha. I'd rather follow people with kind/supportive personalities, and I'll eventually start liking their stories even if they're not initially my thing!

What makes you decide against following?

Bigotry. Moment I see it, I'm on the lookout for even the slightest hint of more and, if I see it, I'm OUT!

(That includes things like: homophobia, transphobia, TERFs, ableism, racism, xenophobia, etc.)

Also, while I include angst in my stories, the people who are big on "I have nothing but bad stuff in my writing and I'm proud" are, uh... not on my "follow" list. While they can write what they want and enjoy it, grimdark is not my thing. Angst is best in moderation and I very purposely control the amount of it in my life.

(Also Kris's--my ex writing partner's--obsession with "grimdark-ness" is a good part of why I'm so ecstatic to remove her stuff from my writing. Yes, I've tried it. For years. I hated it. Please and thank you. Also note that I proudly call myself an evil writer, so it's not like I don't love angst, it's just--moderation. Seriously.)

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Yes! I think a good 50-30% of my interactions are with non-moots, haha. I go out of my way to try to support my moots, but I'll definitely share support with anything that catches my attention, no matter who it's from!

To be fair, though, I think a majority of non-moots I interact with are on my mental "probably going to follow soon" list. I can be slow to make decisions, haha. It doesn't help that I try being active with my moots, so I'm trying to avoid growing that list too quickly!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Haha, depends what you mean by that? My brain is definitely too full of my own characters to have any space for anyone else's, but I definitely do think of others' characters at times! There's plenty of y'alls characters I really like, haha.

Just... omg, my hyperfixated AuDHD brain refuses to focus on anything except for the Hyperfixation of the Moment™.

This was a huge one! Hopefully I'm not screaming into the void with this one, or you guys enjoy finding out more about me and my WIPs.

If you're curious about the reason this is labeled Writer Questionnaire 2... well guess what!

Tagging (gently! This is a lot, haha): @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @paeliae-occasionally @mysticstarlightduck @illarian-rambling @.darkandstormydolls (tagged you earlier in the post haha) + open tags!

Divider from @cafekitsune!

[paperbackpanic]

WHAT CREEPS ARE AUTISTIC? + SUPPORT LEVELS

A/n: this are the pastas I personally think are autistic and why because I am autistic and I'll pass down the autism.

ATTENTION: Most of these don't have relation to my other headcanons, is just for good fun. The only one that really applies to my other headcanons is Jane. Cody and Toby can be implied but not really mentioned

Jane: I'm projecting

Cody (xvirus): because I said so

Hoodie/Brian: Because he's literally me

Toby: Because he already has ADHD and tourettes so he might as well get the whole pack

Bloody Painter: I'm projecting²

Sally: Because autism is coquette and she's too

Eyeless Jack: Because why not?

These are the autism support levels

This is not set in stone, levels can fluctuate during the week/month based on how stressed the autistic person is or how well therapy/treatment is going. A person can also be between 2 levels, I myself am between level 1 and 2, because of my high masking. I have great social difficultys but can do day to day activities (mostly) fine, although on paper I'm level 1. Support levels can also be defined by concomitant disabilities, specially if they're intellectual (down syndrome, learning delay, etc)

Ok so now to the actual reasons

Jane: She's literally the embodiment of autism in afab people lmao. Her straightforward way of speaking, black and white thinking and strong sense of justice and difficulty forming connections are all very autistic traits. She's level 1 of support, 2 on bad days

Cody: High interest in microbiology = hyper focus + special interest. Bedsides I don't see him as "social" he prefers to be alone which could be either esquizoid personality disorder, autism or both. I'll go with both. He doesn't understand humans neither really like to be with them. They're level 2 (almost 3) support

Toby: Many psychological Disorders are accompanied with others, much like a pay one get three deal, tourettes, ADHD and autism are pretty common together. It is not always that "social difficultys" are tied to shyness or isolation, it can also be pushyness and a hyper personality much like Toby's personality. He's level 1

Hoodie/Brian: In my head he's schizophrenic AND autistic. Which really makes his paranoia worse, autism already make you hear things people filter out (like electricity) this together with auditory hallucinations makes him have really bad meltdowns. He's level 3 of support but with all the bullshit he's been through he's forcing himself to be level 1, he don't manage it very well so he acts like a level 2

Bloody Painter: isn't really specified why he's bullied in the og as far as I remember and many autistic folks are bullied for no reason. His passion for painting and drawing can be seen as an hyper focus /special interest. Also his hate from loud places and crowds can be because of sensory overload. Helen also has a personality similar to mine when I was younger so why not haha. He's level 2 of support

Sally: Is pretty rare that girls are diagnosed with autism below the age of 16. So I'll give a little representation here. Her love for pink and typically girly things to the point of looking like a stereotype can be read as her special interest. Autistic girls are often more naive than the average girl of the same age, which more often than not leads to abuse/bullying, so one more point there. Not much else besides the "I want her to be autistic because I wish I was diagnosed much younger". She's level 1 support.

Eyeless jack: He's the embodiment of sensory issues, bedsides I see him as pretty socially inept, not that he doesn't like to socialize, He just don't really know how (like me). Also I see his medical skills as being a side product of his Human body special interest. He's level 2 support

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for forcing my older sibling to join me for a therapist session? I (FtM22) have an older sibling (M25) who is autistic. One of his struggles is lack of empathy, while I am overly empathetic (also autistic). He has like two friends ever and he calls them his "real siblings" and I think it's because he has trouble making friends so he will do ANYTHING for these two friends. One of them would physically beat me up whenever they saw me but my mom didn't ban that person from our house because my brother had a meltdown when my mom suggested it. Because of this and the fact that I refused to watch his special interest tv show, he ignores me. Since I am his blood sibling, I guess he thinks our relationship is assured and that he doesn't have to put any time or effort in maintaining our relationship? I have more internet clout then him but he wants to be an internet celebrity so the only time he's not ignoring me is when he can film me saying something stupid. Like he pressured me into drinking and started quizzing me about trivia and filmed me getting the answers wrong and posted it. It was a real struggle to get him to take the video down. Not very funny. He does this all the time. Over half of his tiktoks are just him secretly filming me. Or he pays me to write jokes for him to say on his twitch streams because his chat thinks I'm funnier. I go along with it because I don't really care about my internet followers I just desperately want my older brother to pay attention to me and acknowledge me as his younger brother. As long as I am more popular than him he'll keep paying attention to me. I've asked him to please stop telling his followers that his friends are his "real" siblings and to stop calling me his "legal" sibling. We are NOT step siblings we have the same parents. He has ignored these requests and says there's nothing wrong with it. He has a therapist and so do I but when I asked if he would be willing to have a joint session with his therapist he refused. I just really want to sit him down and explain that he can't treat me badly just because I'm his blood sibling. There are plenty of siblings IRL that go No Contact and if he keeps being mean to me I will head out. I also want him to stop using me for internet clout and talk to me for other reasons than his own personal gain. However trying to tell him this makes him "overwhelmed" and he has to immediately leave the room five words in and if I don't let him leave he'll start screaming or on one occasion, threatened to out me as trans to our transphobic abusive father (I'm not out of the closet yet). I can't imagine a single way to get my feelings across without a therapist being there. WIBTA if I persuaded my parents to force him into a therapy session with me? I'm willing to take the risk of him outing me to our dad I just want my brother to treat me like a friend and not someone he can steamroll over because I'm "forced" to love him. However I am aware that he has a lot of issues and that maybe I'm forcing him to acknowledge some truths that he isn't ready for? Part of why he treats his two friends like gold is because those relationships are really important to him and he knows friendships can degrade. If I show him that our relationship is degrading, will that make him insecure or worse?

What are these acronyms?

[culminada]

I sat here scrolling Tumblr and then I heard my dad snoring on the other side of the wall.

And I've been making it a habit to consciously pay attention to the people I love, because I love them.

And so - I wasn't trying but this just came to me because of observations, and knowing, and perhaps the habit of it - I thought oh, that means he's sleeping.

Its the middle of the day. He does this sometimes. He's a very busy person, between two jobs, and 2-4 disabled kids. He takes power naps after lunch. He has a whole strategy. He's told it to me and I listened and I remembered because I love him.

He's also in burnout. My dad is burnt out and I understand because I am also burnt out. I wish I could help him but I am burnt out, and so all I can do is know him, is listen to him snoring and know that he is tired.

I get to listen to him snoring. He is tired. He is sleeping on the middle of the day because he is tired, from taking care of me, who am autistic, and my brother, with Prader-Willi Syndrome (shoutout to ppl with PWS), and his job 1 to pay the bills and job 2 to pay for the future and his wife and his other children and making sure we all get our enrichment.

And so he is snoring on the other side of the wall, and I can picture him tangled up in his blankets and sleeping because he is tired.

And so I get to listen to him snoring and think about all the things he does and how much he deserves rest, and how glad I am that he CAN rest, that he's worried and busy and anxious, but not too worried to sleep. Because he needs to sleep. And it's a blessing that he can do that.

And I'll sit here and appreciate him and all he does because I can hear him snoring (and it keeps everyone else up at night unless he uses his mouth guard, which we all call his snore-teeth, and I know this because I listen and I pay attention and I love him).

And he might never know that I sit here and think of him and love him and all he does, how grateful I am that he takes care of me when I'm his oldest and I'm autistic, and I don't feel overwhelmingly bad about that but I do wish I could help more than I do. Not be so big of a burden as I am. But all I can do is let him sleep.

He might never know that I take the time to listen to him snore. Maybe one of those days when he's feeling horrible I'll show it to him and say "you are loved and I see you and I am grateful for everything you do, I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." Maybe I'll make bits of this post into my Father's Day letter. I've been wondering what to do for that because I've been more vocal lately about how much I love him and sometimes it feels like there's nothing left to put in a Father's Day letter that wouldn't just be the same.

There's something special in just the same, though. Like listening to snoring. There's time. And when you're sitting in the middle of time, in the quiet and the dark and listening to snoring, and wondering when the next snore is gonna come, and contemplating life and love and time - well, I'm not doing anything else. And I'm not getting any younger. And maybe right now I can't mentally DO anything else. But I can do this.

I can contemplate my father, who is wise and loving and who pours himself out constantly, fill my mind with MY DAD instead of something else, because I love him.

I lied. My first thought wasn't "oh, that means he's sleeping." Well, it was subconscious. But right after, I thought, "I wish I had someone to love this way," meaning that I want to get married and have someone to love.

But I do have someone to love. I have my father. I can love him. I DO love him. And why am I pining for something I can't have, or worse, for someONE I can't have, when my lovely beautiful Dad is right there loving me in his sleep, in his waking, in his working, in his eating, in his thoughts, in his research, in his everything. I have him? Why do I need anyone else?

[pluto-supremacy]

Hobie Brown headcanons: dating a gn!autistic!reader

➼These headcanons are based off some struggles I deal with myself as an autistic person, what my friends with autism face, and what i have seen and researched online. Autism is a spectrum and remember that everyone has different needs and levels of support, I just tried to include what i know in this post!

➼ Inspired by @hobie-enthusiast's fic QUIET AND EASE ! If you haven't read it you totally should! His writing is amazing and he has some of the best Hobie fics on here!

➼ No beta we die like uncle Aaron

➼No warnings here! Contains fluff

GIF doesn't belong to me! All credits to the original owner

Hobie is in tune with your needs, spidey-sense and all. He's pretty good at being able to predict when you're going to have a meltdown and will throw anyone out of the room to give you some space to calm down and work through it

Has ear defenders or headphones on him at all times and spare sets around his flat just for you

If you let him/want him to he will totally paint them for you, whatever you want

New safe food? He's stocked up like he's preparing for a blizzard

Never pressures you to try new foods or to 'get out of your comfort zone', but will encourage you if that is what you want

Safe food turned against you? He's boycotting it with you

"Luv I ain't ev'n like [food]"

Has invested in several weighted blankets of various weights

If you have sensory issues with clothing (tags, hate the feel of certain material, etc) but still want to steal his clothes, he will happily modify your favorite pieces of his so you can wear it. Hell, his whole closet even

Despite hating consistancy, he knows how important routine is to you and will throw that belief away in a heartbeat (just for you though)

Helps you with transitions, like giving ten minute warnings before you two go out, getting you a nice fluffy robe to make getting out of the shower easier, or writing out what you're doing for the day and when so you can mentally prepare yourelf

Will listen for hours about your special interest, even if you think he wouldn't care or like it. Hello Kitty? He's listening. Enbalming methods from the 1800's? Doesn't matter, you have his full attention and loves learning about whatever you love

If you're non-verbal, selectivly mute, or low-verbal, he finds other ways to help you communicate. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable and heard. 'Yes/No' buttons? You've got them. Flash cards with your needs? Got it on a clip and all so you can carry it around easier, and he helps you decorate them. Signing? Hobie's learning BSL now so he can understand you (and honestly loves signing with you)

Hobie has a huge fidget toy collection that you're welcome to take from at any time, no questions asked

New hyperfixation? He'll get you what you need to do it. Embroidary? He's already got needles and thread, you can practice on his clothes. Same with sewing, he'll teach you if you want. A new video game? He borrows the console needed just for you

He knows that he can get a little loud, especially when going out as spiderpunk. Hobie's mindful to keep his voice down around you and will remind anyone else if they're getting too loud

A/N: Might end up adding more to this in the future! Just wanted to finally post something and it's 4 am-

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hi! Could I maybe request a one-shot about about an autistic reader who’s been asked out as a joke a lot, so when Terzo genuinely asks they assume he’s doing it to be a jerk?

Hopefully you enjoy this one…apologies if anything isn’t exactly correct! -Death

Terzo Asking Out Autistic GN!Reader

You had heard quite a lot about the infamous third Emeritus son. He was charming, kind, flirtatious…some less kind words as well.

Though you weren’t bothered much by the rumours about people the other siblings wanted to date. At this point you pretty much decided you didn’t need romance due to how that often panned out in the past.

People thought it was funny to bet their friends to ask out the “weird kid”. Standing you up on dates all because it was a cruel joke to them. To them you couldn’t possibly feel anything.

Not since an asshole of a teacher outed you as being autistic. Stereotypes defining you to your peers despite it being a spectrum. The higher functioning end of the spectrum was where you were classified, though you did have some sensory issues surrounding the fluorescent lights in the classrooms and certain textures.

A substitute had outed your condition, asking in a very fake whisper about it. Which started the mockery and years of teasing. Years of your emotions being played with until you just gave up on the idea of anyone seriously asking you out.

Even after joining the ministry, romance wasn’t something you actively sought out. Fearing the same fate as in your younger years.

Though your eye was drawn to Terzo Emeritus.

The anti pope was flamboyant, charming, charismatic and…very attractive. Half the congregation was attracted to them. Wanting nothing more than to win his eye. To be his.

You kept to the background. There was always a chance you would simply get hurt again by an uncaring soul. Working quietly in the library among the shelves.

Not noticing the curious eyes following you in the hallways, the longing glances after you as you exited black mass. One green, one white eye filled with the desire to find you and talk to you. Terzo determined to get to know the stunning sibling which he never saw much of.

Which lead to them appearing in the library one day, paintless. Wearing nothing but a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a tight tank top carrying a stack of books. Placing them on your desk carefully and offering a gentle smile.

“Excuse me, sibling. Would you mind helping me put these away?”

You blinked a few times at the request but nodded, grabbing an empty cart. Not recognizing the man before you right away.

“Sure, split the pile in half so we don’t lose any.”

You instructed calmly, watching him move the books carefully. Grabbing a few cards you had made to help you find certain sections that were harder to distinguish. The man getting behind the cart to push it as you began walking.

The conversation between you both was mostly about the choices of books the man brought you. Though when you finally looked at his face you took note of the mismatched eyes.

Mid-rant about one of your special interests no less.

“O-Oh my Satan, I am so sorry Papa-!”

Terzo just smiled warmly at you as they shook their head to stop the apologies. Continuing to walk to the nest section.

“No need for apologies…I quite enjoy how much knowledge you have on the subject. I would love to hear more over dinner sometime soon.”

That particular phrase made you freeze in place, heart racing as you processed the request. The library suddenly felt far too small as you backed away. Terzo taking notice of your reaction and growing concerned.

“Sib-“

“I-I’m sorry Papa…but I just can’t do this again.”

You explained shakily before running from him. The satanic anti pope calling after you with wide eyes. Not that you bothered responding as you rushed away in tears of frustrated disbelief.

He would never seriously ask you out. No one would. No matter how kind or attentive he seemed listening to you before…

No one seriously asked you out.

After a few hours of hiding alone in your room, getting your emotions back under control, and wallowing in self pity you finally decided to walk through the gardens to clear your head. Going to a spot Primo showed you for when the world seemed like far too much.

An isolated fountain in a lonely corner. The sound of the water trickling down the intricate artwork calming your mind during smaller moments of overwhelming circumstances.

Though you froze seeing Terzo sitting there; painted up and staring into the water. Perking up once he saw you.

“There you are…I’ve been looking for you.”

They frowned as they noticed your red eyes, reaching out to offer a hug.

“Sit, tell me what or who has made you cry…”

You sniffled softly, debating taking the offer.

“Would you even care…? Is this all some trick just so you can hurt me too?”

His face softened as he pulled you into a tight hug, holding you to his chest. Their hand softly rubbing up and down your back with a tender whisper.

“I don’t care if you are different than other people…I know the pain of being mocked and ridiculed for something you cannot help. I would never toy with your heart like that…”

The sincere words made quiet sobs escape you as you hid in his chest. Their arms wrapped tightly around you as he offered the comfort you never thought you’d get.

It was no shock that you decided to go out with him after all.

~

Written by Death.

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @callmeicaro @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @thatoddboy @lightbluuestars @strawberriiblossoms @dark-angel-is-back

[knightbeng]

RWBY and Neurodiversity

Ive been thinking about this for a while but resisted posting until Volume 9 ended. Mainly to see how Ruby’s ascension would resolve, because I knew it would impact how I felt about this. 

Also this is long. Like seriously long. Once I started it got out of hand. But I feel it is all Important. 

I will start by saying that I am autistic, and I have friends and family who are both autistic and or neurodiverse. I also understand that a lot of this maybe subtext or head cannon, and at times deeply personal. I also get that this will never be made cannon or had ever even be intended by CRWBY. But, I cannot escape some of the connections I have made or how I relate to some characters. 

Right with that out of the way

RUBY IS AUTISTIC, or at least somewhere on the spectrum.

From the first volume I could see some of the traits coming through. From the use of headphones and music separating her from the world around her. Her over exuberance when is excited or interested in something. Right up to her passion/special interest in weapons and being a huntresses. This is not to lessen the other characters interests or passions, but Ruby’s is very much all consuming. She speaks about how she went over board on Crescent Rose’s design, and about how much she likes others designs. Including Jaune’s classic Crocea Mors. I cannot help but see my own love of history. That took me to university and beyond. Like Ruby with any weapon, I love any history. 

Then there is her abilities in the classroom. Ruby is clearly a natural talent, but she is never shown to be a savant. She has issues keeping her attention in class and with the work load. Although I do understand that this can be put down to being jumped ahead and that Port n Oobleck’s class seem to have a similar effect on others. Much like me and some of my friends we had classes we loved but struggled to show it though other academic difficulties. 

The early volumes also cover her struggles to connect with people. Such as wanting to be with Yang, instead of meeting new people. Or with Weiss and hers rocky relationship, early on. Countered with the open acceptance by Jaune, who sees a fellow outsider. Although for different reasons. Her own comment of wanting “normal knees” is something I think everyone one with autism can relate too. The wish to be just like everyone else and not stand out. That, at times, can be the greatest wish living in a world you struggle with. 

Then there’s the events post Beacon. They show a defining personality trait so common in autism. Her unshakeable moral centre. It can be hard to describe but it is well documented the autistic people have a very strong sense of justice and morals. Although obliviously not all the same morals. We are all have a different in outlook, just like everybody else. Ruby’s is based around helping people and making the world a better place. 

This is shown most strongly in her mission to walk to Haven. Even if most would say she is too young and it is too dangerous, for 4 unqualified huntsmen/huntress. They went and got hurt and burnt out along the way. Yes others went with her but would they have gone without her taking the lead. It shows a lack of self awareness that can be common as autistic people. To the point that they burn themselves out pushing to achieve things, without taking time for themselves. 

The other massive tell is her reaction to Ironwood. She has no dislike for him and shares his goal. But, his actions and plans go against her moral code. So again she sticks to her morals and works to stop him, while rescuing Atlas, at the same time. Yes others agreed that he was in the wrong, but would the likes of Winter changed their allegiance, without someone like Ruby offering an alternative.

Then we get to the biggest thing for me and the reason I felt I had to put my feelings down. Volume 9. While Ruby’s mental state and issues during this volume are very much based in trauma, lose and depression. That a lot of people can relate too, not just the autistic community. I cannot help but think about what she says before she drinks the tea. “I don’t want to be me anymore.” I have never related to a character more. Or be triggered more, for that matter. When I spoke to some of my autistic friends about it, it was something all of us had felt at one moment or another, to varying degrees. See we all know we cannot separate autism from the rest of our person. Most of us don’t even know what is an autistic trait and what is just us. But, I need to make this clear, none of us want a cure or to be changed. More the reaction was things I have felt at times when at your lowest a small voice screams that would it be easier if you weren’t you. 

Then there is Ruby’s ascension. After episode 9 when it was put to her she could change to be someone else, and people where discussing how she might change, if you see Ruby though the lens I’ve described it can be harmful.

Now I don’t want it to sound like I’m accusing CRWBY of not thinking about this. Thousands of people watch RWBY and can be effected by it in ways they would not think, not having that person’s experience. They are telling a story, and that story includes these real moments. 

Back to the point. Telling someone with autism or that person thinking they have to change to achieve or be accepted is a horrible experience. And it is something almost all autistic people experience. It is the reason we learn to mask and hide who we are. The world tells you that it is what’s expected of you. So when in episode 10 Ruby chooses herself and is then reminded that her friends accept her for being herself. It is powerful. Again I understand that this can relate to a lot of things; imposter syndrome, being gay or race issues. But, as someone who is autistic this is how I saw it. I personally have only had 2 people truly accept me like this. 

PENNY is the only other character I see as on the spectrum. Obviously a lot of her character traits are put down to her being a robot. But as Ruby says to her does that make her any less a real person. In fact the relationship between Penny and Ruby is a massive indicator for me of them being on the spectrum. When they first team Ruby asks if she was just like Penny to Weiss. It is not uncommon for autistic people to spot each other quickly, whether they realise it or not. Then when they meet up at the tournament, both feel no need to hide who they are. Ruby is openly dorky in asking Penny about Ciel’s knowledge and Penny doesn’t hide her excitement to see her friend. 

This is repeated multiple times when Penny returns in Atlas. Each time they see each other they share and communicate in away that they don’t with others. Such as hugging Ruby first and asking do all hugs feel like this, before hugging others. She knows that Ruby will be honest and non-judge mental. In fact we can see how non autistic people react when Penny is her over excited, unmasked, self in front of them. Winter stopping Penny bouncing is a typical action from neurotypicals. Even if it comes from a place of care and concern, with no wish to harm, as I believe Winters was. But it is something neither Penny or Ruby would do to the other. 

Then there is Penny’s morals. She is clearly guided to help her friends, people and world. At great detriment to herself. She becomes the hero of Mantel, protecting those who can not protect themselves, and when others will not. Much like Ruby she will risk it all for her sense of justice. 

One of the most impactful parts of Penny’s story is that of virus. I didn’t even think of this, my friend pointed it out when I spoke to her about it. But her Penny is controlled by the virus, she felt it worked as a metaphor for Applied Behaviour Analysis or ABA. Which if you haven’t heard of it, is a horrible thing to experience as someone with autism. Much like conversion therapy for the LGBTQ+ community this works by trying to train you out of being autistic and make you more accepting for others. Penny is pushed towards things she doesn’t want to do and most horribly to do harm. She becomes a tool to the villains, which can also mirror how some savant autistics are treated. There skills used for a “greater good” instead of them being in control of their own destiny. 

Now I want to move on to discuss Ships. These are all Ruby related and while I’m not saying these should be cannon or that they are over other ships, cannon or otherwise, but I feel they work at different points in Ruby’s story when viewed as discussed above. 

LADYBUG is the first ship I gravitated towards in the show. For me Blake was the first character to simply accept Ruby as who she was. This does stem from Blake’s own wish to be accepted for who is she and not what she is, but it is still important to outwardly show it to others as well. I understand that a lot of people find this to be a boring ship, I think that’s because it lacks drama, but for me the idea of someone new accepting you without question or concern is powerful. That is why I like the ship. It is comforting and has little interpersonal drama between the two. More mutually assured care and concern. In fact that is why they talk so little in the show. They understand and trust each other. One of the many reasons people have Blake as a deputy team leader, during and after the events of Volume 9, is this mutual trust. 

NUTS AND DOLTS maybe the most loved ship these days. Outside of Bumblebee, that is. As I have already gone into Penny and Ruby’s relationship as being very neurodiverse. They are themselves with each other, and communicate more easily with the other. Although I would add this is the only one I see as asexual, but I think both characters can be seen as both asexual and not. Just when they are together, they are asexual. Plus after events in Volumes 8 & 9 I think we can call it as close to cannon as possible. 

WHITEROSE i find the most interesting. At the start of the series I never got it. Weiss was mean and uncaring to Ruby. Why would Ruby ever being interested romantically in Weiss. But then as the show progress I understood it. Weiss is just as bigger dork as Ruby but due to reasons outside of autism, she had to mask this. Seeing Ruby act as she wishes and not be punished for it, as she might have been, lets her drop the mask. Two big things outside of the main show solidified this for me. The first is Ice Queendom. We see inside Weiss’ mind and how she has locked away her childish side for protection. Going as far as to do the same thing to Ruby. The second is that I was recently introduced to The Owl House. Luz and Amity’s relationship has a lot of similarities to Weiss and Ruby. Both start with a cold and unforgiving person who is thawed by the loveable dolt. Bringing out there more natural playful side, originally hidden away to protect themselves. Now after the loss of Penny and Weiss being so accepting of Ruby in the ever after. She is the first to call her name when she returns and doesn’t ask any questions, after all. I can see it becoming cannon. If there is time. 

Thank you for reading this I know it is long but I felt I never saw much discussion about RWBY from this perspective.